Aug 15 2008
Bigfoot was found at a McDonald’s. Earlier reports debunked!
Today is a very important day for the History of Americans and Bigfoot followers worldwide. Bigfoot has been found. Repeat, Bigfoot has been found!
He was spotted at the drive through at an undisclosed location in the state of Georgia. He was last seen placing an order for a McDonald’s Southern Style Chicken Sandwich and a McDonald’s Sweet Tea.
Just moments earlier…
He was then spotted jumping into a car with Donald Trump on the way to Ed McMahon’s million dollar mansion “Look I saved my house from foreclosure” pool party. It has been rumored that only the hottest of Hollywood’s elite would be rubbing shoulders there. With A list celebs like Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, Scarlett Johansson, Paul Newman, Gwen Steffani and of course Baby Suri Cruise with her mom Katie Holmes. The question on everyone’s mind was where was Tom? You know, Tom Cruise, yes- Katie Holmes’ husband and Baby Suri’s dad. Duh! 
It didn’t take long for Bigfoot to blow that boring party, they weren’t doing much except serving vitamin water and watercress smoothies, you know- the new Hollywood Diet, and by this time Bigfoot had worked up quite an appetite!
So off to the Cheers bar to grab a drink and talk politics with some of his best celebrity friends, Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus. Bigfoot thought “Yah, they are both young, talented and beautiful, but they don’t appear to be interested in a big hairy ape like me. So I guess I’ll move on.”
I guess it’s time to go home and catch a few hours of the Olympic games Bigfoot thought to himself. “Watching Michael Phelps is a delight to the eyes, that all American boy physique, and that fast, swift speed, no wonder he is taking in all of those gold medals for swimming at the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympic Games. When he gets back to the states, I will have to ask him to help me get my old bod back into shape and teach me some swimming lessons. Until then, I will just sit around and practice my Captain Morgan Stand for the 1000th time. Who knows, maybe I will win first prize and be able to hang out with the girls next door at Hugh Hephner’s Playboy Mansion.”
“Until then I’m having tons of fun mingling and causing a stir around this beautiful country I hope to over take one day soon! “
“Time to click on my Google homepage, wait, what is this? So what now? The Bigfoot remains DNA turned out to be mainly opposum and human? Ha ha, I think I actually fooled them this time. Gosh, I’m really craving a McDonald’s Southern Style Chicken Sandwich, maybe I will head down to the golden arches.”
Barrack Obama suddenly barges in through the door and to his amazement chuckles, “Wait, it was just John McCain in a monkey suit. Sorry kids.” 
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